In Your Philosophy
by Raynidreams
Summary: On New Caprica, Kara and Laura take Leoben captive but then don't have the conversation they expect. Beta: Hobbit Kate Characters: laura, Kara, Leoben.


Kara pushed the figure inside the school, past the desks, then roughly down into the storage pit dug deep into the dirt floor. The hooded figure landed with a grunt of pain that sounded muffled through his hood and the filthy rag she'd shoved in his mouth.

At the top of the hole, she whipped off her own hood, the thick fabric that had concealed her hair now crackled against it with static. She roughly snapped the lingering strands out of her face then turned to the former president.

Laura looked pinched around the mouth.

"I thought you were going to ask him to come here alone?" the older woman asked.

"He was uncooperative when I said that you weren't coming to him," Kara snapped back. She wasn't happy about this, neither of them were, but what else could they do.

"Kara," Laura gestured to the bloodied cuffs binding the figure who'd struggled to his knees within the pit. "This wasn't necessary - you couldn't get him to answer your questions by force before."

Kara gave her an intense look. Roslin had done worse, and would do worse again.

"Yep. And then you threw him out an airlock. Don't guess there's a lot of trust here anymore, Madame President," Kara carped back with a stubborn tilt to her chin, using the title on purpose.

Laura sighed, then nodded conceding. She indicated Kara go first down to him and Kara shimmied down the ladder. Laura followed at a more sedate pace. At the last rung, Laura gave Kara another measuring glance in reproof at which the younger woman rolled her eyes before ripping the hood off her captive. The Leoben beneath blinked pale lashes over pale eyes, adjusting to the moderate glow of the lamps. He then assessed his surroundings and the two women. He smiled.

"Kara had to hood me to bring me here, Laura. If I was seen out alone, then I expect it would only be a few more moments before the next thing to fill my vision would be the faces of my brothers after download," he paused and clicked his jaw. "Although I think Starbuck took more pleasure in the hooding than I expected, and her cuffing and pushing were more… enthusiastic than required."

He flicked the blond woman an amused and yet admiring glance.

Kara's expression turned even flintier, if that was possible, then mellowed as she caught his eye before looking away.

Laura wet her lip at the nano-second exchange. She wondered what words had passed between the two at the compound. And, as if he'd read her mind, without pause he said, looking at the former pilot, "She's a testimony to the human capacity for mayhem and violence, don't you think?" He sounded so joyful. "But then, she's been programmed to be that way... is so damaged by the result of it… it's hard to..."

Kara swore loudly, then stepped forward and kicked him back on his ass. The cylon hissed in pain again and started to laugh. Laura hadn't been quite quick enough to prevent Kara from attacking, but she was to prevent it going any further. She caught Kara's arm and pulled her firm body back into her own, Laura ignoring the spark of satisfaction she felt as her breasts met Kara's shoulder-blades.

The blond woman struggled, Laura had to use all her strength. "Let it go," she commanded. Kara twisted out of her grasp easily, but it was Leoben who ended the scuffle.

"Kara, I'm sorry. I hadn't meant to put you on the defensive," he panted, a little out of breath.

Laura swore as violently as Kara, only silently. He wasn't in the least bit sorry for riling Kara up and they both knew it, even if Kara might not. A step away, and Kara inhaled, her chest heaving, her eyes travelling up before she met Laura's then down to his. She clenched one hand, cracking her knuckles. She also knew; it was clear.

A moment passed, the quiet broken only by the sound of the night, then Kara walked over and pulled him up, surprising no one when she unlocked his cuffs, then shook up the truce once more by flicking a heel behind his calf and landing him right back in the same patch of dirt. She pursued and knelt over his hips. "Are you going to be quiet while we ask the questions, or do I need another water vat?"

He grinned. Laura watched how he brought his face closer to Kara's, the grin fading, and the intensity breeding in his look with every second.

"This was supposed to be a peaceable conversation, cylon," Laura said. It seemed important to intrude.

Neither of the other two looked away from each other, but as she spoke, Leoben laughed. "I'm just happy to see you both. Happy to be here. My mind often gets caught up with what I see, and when I'm in both of your presences, it makes it clear to me how our histories have shaped all of us... and what we will become..."

Kara leaned closer, only mere minutes together, it seemed, and he'd already had an effect on her. Inside, Kara felt a churning. It was as though the world had shifted two foot to the left and she was standing in mid-air or balanced on water, wondering if she was going to fall with the next word.

"...And it was never going to be a peaceable conversation because of that, Laura. We've always been too subjected to your gaze, and now this is turned about," he said; and indeed, Kara felt it was she who was under observation. She let him go and retreated then eased back to rest her rear against one of Roslin's study cabinets, bolted to the dirt brick walls. By her side, she felt the call of the other woman's warmth. She locked down upon her muscles, shields up, remaining firmly in place.

"I'm a seer of truth; someone who can guide you both through the wasteland. I see the signs, sense the warnings."

"You caused the wasteland, you asshole. We don't need you here. None of you. Why can't you leave us in peace?"

"There is no such thing as peace until we accept we are to be together. Before, you treated us like slaves, without love... made us and then without negotiation, committed us to kill and abase our true selves."

He shifted up from kneeling and stood, taking time to ease all his muscles out languidly. He then created space by pressing his back against the wall opposite.

"You took a chance in accepting my invitation," he continued on. "I could've been out for vengeance."

Laura and Kara didn't trade glances. This part they'd prepared for, even if nothing else which had been exchanged so far had been.

"I guess, but then why such an elaborate sham? You sent the Centurion with a note to meet you. If you've just wanted us dead, the note would've been sent bullet shaped."

"Maybe I have subtlety?"

"There's nothing subtle about a seven foot plus chrome toaster handing one a letter. I rather think the message, the act, made of drama."

"I need no drama. Drama is a web of lies and deceit."

"What about what you told me before? That wasn't a lie?" Laura demanded, pulling her scarf more firmly around her neck. Kara reset her falsely nonchalant position against the wall, head tilted towards her, dipping her thighs a little.

"There is only one truth... which is open to interpretation. You know that as well as any, Laura Roslin."

The silence interrupted them again, a fourth person in the room calling the end to the round - the soundless bell tingling in the channels of the ear as the dirt scent lingering like the moments after a downpour. His smile stretched even further. Kara clicked her neck to the side, then grunted, and gestured with her hand, diverting the previous exchange. The words had fired across the pit like javelins and they dug deep, sparking a migraine. "Just stop it. Cut the crap. Tell us what you want?" she demanded.

Leoben chuckled again. He seemed to be in a fantastic mood. _Mad frakker_.

"You do realise, Kara, that I let you take me? That I will let you do what you will. The same for you, Laura. What you need of me, on a personal level, I will do."

"Good, then get yourself and your playmates and get the frak off this planet. Leave us in peace."

Leoben nodded at her outburst, but carried on talking as if she hadn't spoken, "I can't stop this battle, for it is still a war. There is no easy road to a happy ending here, people are set and there are steps to go through first. Lessons to be taught and learned."

Laura stood straighter and came closer to him. "This is pointless. If all you have is half-veiled threats and…"

"You both have things you must learn about yourselves!" He shouted. From gentle ripples to a torrent. "You can't control everything! You need to see your place and purpose here. God..."

Laura cut across him as he had her. "We didn't answer your summons to talk about religion, and we certainly didn't bring you here to be preached at. You seemed to have been the only cylon willing to talk before… You could've killed us both on the Gemenon Traveller, yet you did not. We thought you might be willing to help us."

"Oh, I am."

"But not to get your people to leave?" Laura correctly deduced.

"No."

"Then why? Why all this charade? Why not kill us before?"

"It is an interesting conundrum, isn't it? I guess it's like seeing through the forest," he said softly.

Laura's eyes crinkled. His finger came to his lips, mocking.

"What is the endgame here? Why have you come? Your Brother Cavil, the priest Cylon called a one way truce - you said you'd let us go… why come?"

"To be with you. You are our makers, our parents, and it's in our nature to be one with our parents as you wish to be one with your gods. We do not wish to replace you but exist. Only through being with and knowing can the path to God be found."

"You're just stealing from scripture now… know thyself… you've a real hard-on for Pythia, haven't you?" Kara interjected sharply. She didn't like how close Laura was to the cylon. She didn't like to question if the proximity sparked a concern for Laura or the cylon. She put it down to concern at the disaster facing them all and the downhill, deterioration of the meeting.

"Aha, indeed… all this has happened before… to know thyself, to know god, is to know madness… ecstasy."

Kara snorted, but Laura didn't back away. He could've shot them or snapped both their necks by now. Laura whispered into his face, "You talk in riddles."

Behind her, Kara had half an eye for how much bigger the cylon was than Laura, and how the dirt walls seemed to be swallowing them all, the lamps from above shinning over them like a corona.

"You believe in scripture, do you not?" Leoben asked Laura. "How there are hidden sayings and that those who find the true meaning will never die? Why else would you study and lead by them so?"

"I believe there is meaning in the old scriptures, symbols, learning to be heard and understood to lead us through this time of darkness," Laura admitted after a pause.

"Interesting… but what do you make of that? What kind of a message does it sell? That to know a truth… that no one else will."

"I don't know… you were the one who said there is only one truth."

"Yes, I did." He paused. "May I?" He held his one hand out. Kara hadn't realised, and neither had Laura herself really, that she clutched her personal copy of the Pythian codex in her hands. Laura reluctantly passed it over. Leoben nodded and thanked her politely. He then held the book upon a flat palm unopened. "How many works do you think, how many revisions to this have happened for it to now come to be in your possession as it is?"

His hand didn't waiver.

Laura didn't shrug.

"One word, many interpretations. Do you understand it all?"

Again, she didn't move, but did sigh. The whole meeting seemed one massive opera of amusement to him. "It seems a terrible thought that the only way to God is through such notions, such characters..., a dead language… fought over like dogs with a piece of gristle."

"Maybe none of us wished, wish, to go to your God!" Laura snapped, losing something of her cool. She took the book back from him and slipped it into the pocket of her coat. The leather felt comforting as she clutched it.

"No, but then neither do you wish to forever dwell in Hades… in those levels of darkness… forever."

"Is that why you killed us all?" Kara sniped, even more annoyed now with the conversation than she had been at the beginning. She fixed her eyes upon the idol of Hecate across the room; her eyes moving down the thin lines before she moved back to the cylon's lean, hungry face.

"No. We were showing you the light. Death through love, not fear. Love can never be shrouded in darkness." It was hard to tell if he was being sarcastic or not. It was a thought to wonder if he even understood the concept.

Laura clasped her hands before her. She looked at the floor before addressing him again. "Those views of death are old, lost." And, composed once more; dark hair framing her face, clothes neat face impassive... she cast an impressive aura. Next to her, Kara jiggled her shoulders with a similar bland face - one carefully constructed yet tenuously held.

"I'm listening, Laura," he replied cheerfully after a beat, pushing.

"Death afterwards… it keeps, but it's not shrouded. My mother…"

"You mother believed in the literal incarnations of your Gods. Just as Kara's did suffering was good for the soul." Leoben glanced at Kara, then back to Laura. "Did her mother have had a point?"

Kara growled, intelligibly. A blush darkening her twitching cheeks.

"Perhaps pain, the suffering…" he continued as if she hadn't made a noise. His words pushed Kara over the edge.

"You cylons don't suffer!" she yelled, marching forwards. "You don't hurt… you don't even die!" Laura grabbed her, pulled her close.

"Resurrection… God has offered us that, through his love," Leoben told them both, head tilted to the side.

"And us? We can't save ourselves. We can't imprint upon a chip! You murdered us and continue to do so. Faces disappear at night never to return! Here, now! On this shit-frak of a world!"

"You don't understand, Kara. This here, through us…through their suffering… you have rebirth… You shall have rebirth, for you have suffered…" he leaned backwards. "All your pilots… martyrdom offers anyone the chance to be welcomed by God. Purity, poverty… on, this world, the simple things are what you value."

Kara shook Laura off, then came to stand face to face with Leoben. He didn't stop talking. "Do you remember everything, Kara? All that you've done? Do you wish to be condemned for all you do?" He examined her more softly. "Absolved?"

"Frak you," she whispered. The shape of her words so close to his skin, they felt like a kiss. Like her breath was his, and visa versa.

He lowered his head even closer to hers. "Feel my breath, my being, feel it quicken your own locked away spirit… you are a witness… do you know, that for a breath in that pool, I felt myself die. I was away, then I came back to life at your command. What does that make you?"

"It makes me the woman who's going to kill you right here and now if you don't help or shut the frak up!" Quicker than she could deflect, he'd grabbed her and pulled her in intimately. Over her shoulder, he watched Laura tense, his lips tickling the tiny hairs around the shell of Kara's ear.

Once more, he spoke on. "Something born, or something born to be… a vessel…?"

Kara struggled, her stomach empty and heart and lungs bursting as if there wasn't enough blood or air in her body. Behind, Laura reached for a statuette of the first goddess that came to hand. She held it aloft but didn't hit Leoben with it.

"Teachers... you're both teachers... and yet the subjects, objects of tales... stories told over and over... your lives... the journey." His words came intermittently as Kara wrestled to free herself from his clutch. A force of nature grinding against a granite rock; unbending, butting...

Leoben grabbed Kara's hand where it reached for something in her pocket.

Laura still held the bronze statuette up, but tried a different tactic from Kara. Quietly, but clearly, she asked him, "Answer me this, cylon. If you're so sure, how can one God, your God, be both merciful and caring and then wrathful and vengeful… it makes no sense. Logic dictates that there is more than one God. More than one." She gazed not at him, but at Kara who was panting in his grasp.

"God is in everything, Laura. There are no specifics, only love. Your Gods teach fear, jealousy, rivalry."

"That still makes no sense, how can God be one and many. How can he be love and then cause such pain if he is not infected with the same vices which infest man? Pain, murder, rape…"

"One God, whose spirit resides in us all. One God, with many children. Those who accept his spirit, in whichever form, work his miracles. One God, who through his chosen, show bravery, fearlessness, fight, passion..." Quicker than Laura could see, he switched so that he now gripped Kara's throat. Kara gasped and wrapped her fingers around the cylon's arm. Laura burst forward.

"God is just."

Laura raised the statuette, but he lifted Kara halting the older woman's approach. "The catalysts of change stand forever at the crossroads - not knowing their direction, but feeling it for another's and not their own want," he whispered. His eyes a little wide as he looked at Kara going pale, her eyelids fluttering.

"You're insane," Laura breathed.

He laughed as Kara, half aware, reached for the blade in her pocket and then slammed it into his side. He carried on laughing as he dropped her and fell.

"I'll see you soon," he gasped before going still.

* * *

Kara sat in the centre of Laura's desk as they awaited arrest or retribution. She couldn't go home, it would get Sam implicated. An hour passed, then more. They could've hid, but there was nowhere to go. She sipped the liquor Laura kept filling their glasses up with. They passed a joint back and forth between themselves; the smoke embittered and sour as it lay in the air; the drug slithering along nerve endings, calming and sibilant – warming in its freedom. Kara wasn't hungry, and neither was Laura, but they picked at the bread and dried fruit Laura had rummaged up. As a last meal, it seemed poor, but as they both reasoned, it was better than nothing.

Better than whatever lay ahead.

Kara's hand settled over Laura's. Laura clutched it as tightly as she did her book and Kara her blade.


End file.
